How to improve your Journal/ Question writing.

An example of a good journal entry done by a member of our class.

Friday, October 28th/ 2011
Journal entry #4

As we were flying over Frobisher Bay I realize that it is nothing that I imagined. I wish I could just go back to the comfort of my own home, but I know I’m coming here for a good reason.

I’m kind of nervous to meet my uncle because I don’t know what he is going to be like or if he’s even going to like me.

Even though I said I’m nervous I am also kind of anxious because I want to see how they live up here, the things they do and the clothes they wear. I think when I meet my uncle and I get settled in, everything will be fine.

How we could improve this entry by adding supporting evidence from the novel. Information in red has been added to the previous journal entry.

As we were flying over Frobisher Bay I realize that it is nothing that I imagined. I wish I could just go back to the comfort of my own home. Back to my clean, warm, Toronto apartment with the luxury of my stuff and my piano, but I know I’m coming here for a good reason. I need to prove to everyone that I have changed, that I have stopped using drugs and that I am taking responsibility for my past actions. I know that working in Nanuvik will demonstrate to the world that I have changed.

I’m kind of nervous to my meet uncle because I don’t know what he is going to be like or if he’s even going to like me. I am also concerned that he will not give me my inheritance. I have never met him before as he has never traveled south before but I have heard stories about his strictness and cheapness. I don’t think Uncle Calvin will be anything like my father.

Even though I said I’m nervous I am also kind of anxious because I want to see how the Inuit live up here, the things they do and the clothes they wear. I am interested to see what northern living is like. Will I be cold all the time? Will I have enough to eat? Did I bring enough stuff to occupy my time during the winter? Even though I have all these questions I think when I meet my uncle and I get settled in, everything will be fine.

An example of a good answer using supporting evidence written by a student. Information in red is supporting evidence.

Walski’s reasoning for dismissing Jon as a music teacher was he abused drugs once before and he didn’t want anything to happened to his students. Mr. Walski stated, “You seem to me exactly the type of person these students shouldn’t know.”